Blooming

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

–Anaïs Nin

The last time I posted I wrote about the importance of no being a just.  Well instead of being a hypocrite, I decided to follow my own advice, and work on being me not just a just.  I mean how comfortable is it to just remain in your comfort zone and do what you always have done?  But what happens when what you always have done, no longer describes you? You’ve lost your drive, motivation, gumption,  spark, what ever you want to call it.  This week has been hard for me because I decided that it is time for me to blossom not just as a person but as a citizen of the world.  To be honest that ish hurts, but then in the words of a good mentor of mine, “if it doesn’t scare the shit out of you, then it really isn’t worth it.” So instead of playing with the idea, I have started to go out on a limb and be vulnerable, ask for help and get rid of things that were once my comfort zone and my overall comfort. Did I say that this week hurt?  Well it did.

As a teacher I force my kids out of their comfort zones everyday, I tell them to take risks, cry laugh and not be afraid of the fact that some days some people will not be your favorite people.  However the people who love you unconditionally will always be there.  This week I went out on a limb and let me tell you that by going out on that limb it was emotionally and professionally draining, however it hurts too much to sit still and be tightly closed in a bud.  Instead it is time for me to figure out how to be the best me there is to become.  I am young, and fine as I don’t know what and being a just is just not enough.

So sometimes I will journal and other times I will blog, but my main thing is to continue to write.  I love people, but the first key to not being a just, is to love and appreciate myself and these past years that hasn’t been happening as much.

Is it time to move on?  Absolutely!  Is it time to be accountable to my brain and life goals?  Totally.  By April as the rain showers descend, I will be blossoming with the flowers.  It hurts way too much not to bloom.  As I walk through this journey, I am reminded of the fact that all actions and events happen for a reason and because of that everything will fall into play.

~Say

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