“Life is messy thats how we are made. You can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. If you are willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular. “
Man is the view from the other side spectacular. Imagine you have the opportunity to pick up your entire life and just start over. You aren’t just starting over, you are joining a movement bigger than yourself. The movement forces you way out of your comfort zone. Opportunities are yours only if you are willing to take them. Everyday is the biggest blessing that you could ever dream. For me it meant moving across the country and joining an amazing team of dedicated and humbled individuals. I have only been here for 6 weeks and I can honestly say that I have amazing friends some of whom I can consider family. There are no pretenses, I can be myself: quirky, smiley, friendly and just plain silly and no one looks at me sideways. It is amazing because I am truly living life outside of the box and the lines drawn and I can see the possibilities.
These past few weeks have also pushed me to ensure that I give the same love and support to my students. I am working a place where my strengths are celebrated and my weaknesses don’t really matter. Even the things I am not so good at do not define who I am. In my classroom the same happens. I try to focus on what my students do well. The LOVE to talk. We celebrate that they love to talk and give them the room to talk to each other. It is a REQUIREMENT. If their supposed weakness is silence then we work towards periods of silence. They are getting better. I think that it is important that my students use their quirkiness and silliness and childishness to their advantage. It will enhance their learning. They begin to trust each other and maybe they will learn to trust me.
My life has changed from a year ago, but the more radical change happened 6 weeks ago when surrounds with amazing people. I hope this is the year of their radical change from the other side 🙂
“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
The last time I posted I wrote about the importance of no being a just. Well instead of being a hypocrite, I decided to follow my own advice, and work on being me not just a just. I mean how comfortable is it to just remain in your comfort zone and do what you always have done? But what happens when what you always have done, no longer describes you? You’ve lost your drive, motivation, gumption, spark, what ever you want to call it. This week has been hard for me because I decided that it is time for me to blossom not just as a person but as a citizen of the world. To be honest that ish hurts, but then in the words of a good mentor of mine, “if it doesn’t scare the shit out of you, then it really isn’t worth it.” So instead of playing with the idea, I have started to go out on a limb and be vulnerable, ask for help and get rid of things that were once my comfort zone and my overall comfort. Did I say that this week hurt? Well it did.
As a teacher I force my kids out of their comfort zones everyday, I tell them to take risks, cry laugh and not be afraid of the fact that some days some people will not be your favorite people. However the people who love you unconditionally will always be there. This week I went out on a limb and let me tell you that by going out on that limb it was emotionally and professionally draining, however it hurts too much to sit still and be tightly closed in a bud. Instead it is time for me to figure out how to be the best me there is to become. I am young, and fine as I don’t know what and being a just is just not enough.
So sometimes I will journal and other times I will blog, but my main thing is to continue to write. I love people, but the first key to not being a just, is to love and appreciate myself and these past years that hasn’t been happening as much.
Is it time to move on? Absolutely! Is it time to be accountable to my brain and life goals? Totally. By April as the rain showers descend, I will be blossoming with the flowers. It hurts way too much not to bloom. As I walk through this journey, I am reminded of the fact that all actions and events happen for a reason and because of that everything will fall into play.
Recently I decided to actually watch the Year of 4 Documentary with Beyoncé. Not only was it really good it was in some ways inspiring. I am not always impressed by other people and their success, but this woman is truly phenomenal and this thing was made a couple of years ago.
Anyway, one of her answers to the interviewers really struck me…
“Sometimes we don’t reach for the stars, sometimes we are satisfied with what people tell us what we’re supposed to be satisfied with and I’m just not going for it.”
This really inspired me because often times I feel as if I am short changing myself and not living up to my full potential. I mean I am good at some things and my drive to accomplish the best tends to make me the best. If something stands in my way or I think I can do better, I do everything I can to get better. But then I sometimes get stuck and I think about what I am “just” instead of who I really am. I get caught up in other people’s dreams and aspirations and then I lose my own.
Obviously I am not the person I was 6 years ago or even yesterday, but I do know that these past years I have been asking others for where I fit in their vision. As if my vision doesn’t matter and that really pissed me off. Let me tell you after years of asking where others see me, what they see is not very far. In other visions you can be a ” just” not a “who”. I have been grappling for years about what I want and where I want to do it, but I think the grappling is over. I think I finally am ready to stop being a “just” and instead be a “who”
I may be good at somethings, but it is time to become good at something else. In the words of wise old Rafiki
“It is time”